Your Sacred Story | A Memoir Writing Guide
When I got laid off from my big corporate job, everything changed.
In that week, not only did I lose my source of “dependable income”, I also lost my car(it was stolen), my favorite possessions(1k worth of climbing gear, my yoga mat and much more) and my sense of self.
I had built my whole self-image around people-pleasing - what clients I was winning, the happiness of my bosses, the pride of my parents.
Who I thought I was crumbled... and it a vast blank space.
My work gone; I decided to travel the world and sink deeply into nature as I started my own business.
I wound up in Costa Rica at a beautiful place called the Yoga Farm where I intended to do yoga, farming, blogging and client work. A few weeks before, I tore most of the ligament and tendon in my ankle. Walking 2 miles down a mountain to get wifi in the nearest town on a 97 degree day hurt was crippling. One day, sitting in the hot, grey cinderblock room on my 30 minutes of wifi, my computer went blank and wouldn't come back on. Completely deflated, I stumbled back to the farm. My computer was toast. My ankle was essentially non-functioning. It was hot AF. The beach was miles away. I couldn't surf. Who I thought I was on this trip, a surfing yogi and digital nomad, was gone.
Stripped again. By the Universe.
“What am I going to do?!” I groaned.
So I did nothing. In those moments of nothing, of deep meditation, I was able to write these words. “This week. I am present. My foot hurts every day. It's hard to walk. I am not surfing, as I would like to be. My computer has broken, so I am not working. Who are we when all the outer realms have been stripped away? What exists underneath the surface when all of the doing and trying ceases? I am learning who I am... again. I have nothing to give but my presence and that is enough.”
On this trip, I began to write my own memoir.
Here are some prompts and ideas to consider as you write your Sacred Story.
If you’re thinking, “I’m not ready yet.” You are. Writing your lifestory will benefit you in so many ways. Uncover who you are as a soul being, your divine purpose since birth and where destiny is calling you!
This is a space to remember, recreate, and celebrate, even if you never publish.
1.give it a structure
Your structure can change over time, but it is helpful to begin with one. The structure serves as a backbone for your writing. It’s the masculine to your feminine flow.
You could have a two part score - Act I & Act II. You could use a 3 part structure, which is what most stories use - begin, middle and end. It could be written in 5 parts. Many books of poetry or full life stories use this - the birth, the growing pains, the flowering, the recreation, and the dying.
Whatever it is, consider the big transits of your life and what you’d like to capture.
For instance, it could be something like, life before I became a woman. That’s two parts. One is life before. Second is life as a woman. It could potentially become a three part score is you’re writing about life as a woman or how to step into womanhood.
It has to mirror your purpose for writing which we’ll talk about next!
2. flow with purpose.
I recommend using the following prompts as the starting point for your writing session, but in particular as you start to craft your message and the overarching story. Please don’t edit yourself as you flow, don’t scratch anything out. Let sentences trail off. Let it be messy.
We’ll talk about self-editing later.
Take your time and enjoy the following prompts:
1. How do you want to express your magick?
The teacher/wise woman/sage educates. The artist/the poet inspires change. The warrioress encourages action. The lover wants the read to feel. The adventure takes us on wild journey. These are all available to you. Which are you called to? Maybe it’s a blend of both.
Write about how you express yourself most purely.
2. What do you want to evoke in your reader?
Tangibly, what do you want them to do after they put the book? Actively imagine, this person reading your book. Describe how their life changes on a daily basis.
Examples:
She puts the book down to call in her lover to do things they’ve never done to her.
She sings her children to sleep with stories.
They finally stand up to that person who’s been abusing them.
He allows himself to take baths and cry for the first time.
3. What is your archetypal journey?
Archetypes serve as symbols - the wild highschooler, the goody-two-shoes, the workaholic, the self-sacrificing mom, the bully, the shy kid. When I saw those symbols, instantly you have an image in your mind. These images are helpful for communicating the big picture story. The journey is where you started and where you ended up. It is your overarching plotline. Think about the biggest transit that you’ve made and capitalize it in 1-3 simple sentence.
Examples:
When I was young, I was depressed. Then I became a designer and everything changed.
As an insecure teen, I opened my legs. As a wise woman, I open my heart.
My mom was schizophrenic. My dad was an alcoholic. I am a warrior for peace.
4. Tell a story about using a few key elements/themes.
Use one word only. Stream of consciousness, source things that are important to you!
Example: peace, love, connection, fun, play, the beach, school, yoga
Now circle three words that have the most energy. Pick one word to begin. Tell us a story about the first moment that comes to mind. Just tell us the story. Don’t worry about the point or the message, just be in the moment.
Then tell us more stories as they come.
You can make a long list of experiences and come back to them later OR you can set aside a lot of time and channel.
5. Write from an emotion that you love.
Channel that into your being. Now, tell us about the first time or your most potent memory of this emotion.
6. Think about an emotion that you fear.
Pull this into your experience. Tell us a story about the first time you felt this.
7. Write a story about the first time you ___________.
Your first impressions deeply shape your beliefs. A few stories will come through here. Feel free to catalogue and come back for later.
8. Write about, “A moment that I’ll never forget __________.
All of your most life-changing moments, it’s good to get those down, described in vivid detail. Maybe you have a few. They may make the book, they may not. They do activate alot and will help you become a more potent writer.
9. Write about a moment in which you felt like your whole life was crashing down?
Walk us through from beginning to end. Tell it in present tense. Tell everything in present tense.
10. What I wish I could tell my younger self is ________.
Your deepest ethos will no doubt come through in this experience. Your legacy, your contribution to the planet, feel that hear. This may change the whole format of your book. Just allow it.
3. Unite the masculine and feminine
As you start to activate all of these questions, your book will shift. That’s just life. Often times, especially if you’re a coach writing a self-help book, books can get a little bit lopsided, so let’s talk about balance - channeling the flow and the structure.
If you want to achieve divine balance, your book will contain equal parts energy, embodiment, philosophy, etc and tangible stories and life experiences. I personally think the most masterful writers blend their teachings and their life story together seamlessly. However, this may not be your path. You could have your story as the first half of the book and practical application as the second. You could dedicate half of your chapter to a story and the second half to a practice. Whatever you decide, seek balance between the esoteric writing and reality.
4. Become your own editing guide.
As you reread your work(and please do this), peruse from an objective eye. Let yourself go on the journey. Reimmerse in the magick of your writing. Take yourself there. When it falls short, rework it into a new form.
These are my best self-editing tips.
Add details to things that are important and remove ones that aren’t.
If you want practice adding details, look out your window and describe something happening in gross detail. When you self-edit, make sure the details that you’ve used accentuate what is most important for the story. If you find a particular area a bit boring, add more detail and flavor to bring it to life.
Convert sentences to the active tense.
When a piece of writing activates, it entrances the reader. I just wrote the following sentences, “The reader is entranced,” and then switched it to, “It entrances the reader.” The see the difference.
Words to edit out when possible - was, is, am, are and other passive verbs.
Another example, in my story above, I wrote, “The hill was hard to climb.” There is nothing happening in this sentence. There is the action of “climbing”, but no one is actively climbing. I could say, “I climbed the difficult hill,” or I could give the hill a life of it’s own, “The hill rose from the sand black beach like a towering green gargoyle.” I just said the exact same thing, but in a way that takes you to the moment and gives the hill an activity rather than a description.
A more simple example, “He was walking down the road,” becomes, “He walked down the road.”
Eliminate fluff and filler.
Whenever you feel like the story is hovering or dancing around something, take some time to edit down. Often when we’ve used a lot of words, we are looking to refine or articulate something important to us. Give yourself time. Look pensively out the window. Mull it over. Make sure you’ve gotten it just right.
Find the purest way to communicate your idea in the fewest amount of words.
in conclusion
My love, your story is everything.
Now is not the time for you to start conjuring up the magic of your life,
You don’t need to write fairytales or stories you wish to be true,
Now is not the time to consider if you have lived well,
or to prove what you have accomplished,
or to hope that it’s all been for something.
Now is the time to love yourself. Now is the time to tell the truth.
to see that it’s all been woven together. Divinely.
It’s a time to celebrate, to make art, to laugh and dream and do it all over again.
Now is the time to fall in love with your story.
The work you came here to do has been made perfect in your life already.